i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
