What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize