This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
