And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
