how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
