Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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