I CAN MOONWALK!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
