I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The air taste purple.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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