"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
