as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
