If i come over, it means nothing
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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