arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
