this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Someone came in the potted fern
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
