You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
