it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
