You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Pants are for mortals
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