Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
