You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
