I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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