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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
