You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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