The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
