I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
