Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
