hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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