I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
