Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
