i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
