You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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