You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
