Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(573): View more from Missouri

Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.

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(731): View more from Tennessee

We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?

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(803): View more from South Carolina

so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.

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(619): View more from California

Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless

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