you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
