people are starting to question the shark bite story
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
