I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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