I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
