seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
