Welp...herpes.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
