Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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