Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
did i walk over a car last night?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Dick very happy bro
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
