RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
