I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
