"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
