we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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