Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
