I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
