So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
