either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
