I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
