google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
