So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I look better un-naked...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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