So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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