Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
