well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
